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[18 Mar 2004|12:15pm] |
Good lord! It appears that we have the first case of Sand Puppy domestication right here, good sirs! ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) memeworrywort has made a post providing photos of his (apperantly) half-tame Sand Puppy
here.
This is an incredable case. I would never have thought such a terrible beast could be tamed enough to live among humans. I would be interested in learning more about this "Sparticus".
The implications of this are immeasurable. However, I advise the general public not to attempt to tame Sand Puppies, as it could be fatal.
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[17 Mar 2004|03:35pm] |
Sand Puppies may have infiltrated our homes. I am trying to come up with a fool proof test that will allow us to weed the Sand Puppies out from the true dogs.
If you have any ideas, please share. Sand Puppy viligence is my area of expertise, not behavior or anatomy.
Anyway, I think President Bush is seriously neglecting the Sand Puppy issue. Why hasn't he brought the Sand Puppy threat up during his speeches, or even his campaign? I would feel much more confident in his assumed abilities as a president if I was assured that he was aware of, and dealing with, this menace.
I think it's time to write to my Senator again. Except this time, I won't include the bloody tooth marks- I thought it was very compelling, and a nice touch, given the subject of Sand Puppies, but I guess politicians have no creativity.
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[10 Mar 2004|04:07pm] |
I was recently able to exit my home without being attacked by hordes of vicous Sand Puppies. I thank those of you who helped to chase them off, I really appreciate it.
Yesterday, one of my fellow troops in the war against the Sand Puppy sent me this startling image.
We have found her, my friends. We have found the Hive Queen.
One of our orginazation was able to sneak inside the Home Tunnel of the Sand Puppies, were she took this photo. It is the only exsisting image of the Hive Queen.
Look well upon her bloated, evil mass, and fear. For this is the embodiment of terror.
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| Welcome. |
[07 Mar 2004|04:11pm] |
I've added you because I feel you're at risk of being attacked by the creatures called Sand Puppies. I will be monitoring you, keeping an eye out for signs of a Sand Puppy epidemic in your area.
There is no need to be frightened- I am always viligent. I anything happens, I'll be watching. Always.
Together, we can conquer the evils of the Sand Puppy.
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| A petition to stop serial adders? Ha. |
[03 Mar 2004|03:12pm] |
This is horrible! Terrible people are AIDING the Sand Puppies in their quest to control our lives and eat our legs!
These TERRORISTS hope to control our very Friends Lists! They WANT your children to be eaten by Sand Puppies! They WANT journalists to be kidnapped to prevent the truth about Sand Puppies from reaching the public!
WE WILL NOT LET THEM HAVE OUR FREEDOM! WE WILL NOT SUBMIT TO THOSE WHO HELP THE SAND PUPPIES!
Sign this monstrosity and let them know that they can not hide their petty petitions from the TRUTH!
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[03 Mar 2004|09:50am] |
Oh god, they're still here. Please, please, someone come chase them off. I have to get out of here. I can't stand being stuck in this house, surrounded by the Sand Puppies, any more.
I read the newspaper today. A friend brought it with my groceries. Dear god, they're spreading. Look- that child is being eaten alive, in front of the camera. How much longer wil our government deny the exsistance of this menace?
Oh god, there's one at the window right now. I have to go. I can't let them know what we're planning.
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[02 Mar 2004|04:01pm] |
Recently, a few people have offered to help me chase these beach mongrels away from my house. You have no idea how grateful I would be to you if any of you could help me. You see, I can warn the citizens of the world from my home, via the internet, and I can help to organize our growing number of troops to defeat the Sand Puppy menace, but it's not the same. I need to be out there, fighting for our homes and families!
We MUST spread the word. We MUST inform our brothers and sisters of this hidden threat to the world as we know it. We must not let these creatures gain control of us! Band together, my friends, for the coming war! They will attack our homes, our friends, our families- some of you may die. But no matter what, we must be brave. We can not submit to them!
Anyway, my house is easy to find. Just follow the trails of sand. It's the house with all the holes and Sand Puppies in the front yard. I've noticed that they don't like vacuum cleaners, so bring one along when you come.
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| I apologize |
[01 Mar 2004|04:58pm] |
for my recent absence. However, a few weeks ago, a fellow Sand Puppy vigilantte gave me a call, and I recieved the news I have been dreading most.
They have come for me.
As you can see, they're gathering outside my house. They mock me with their sandy grins. I didn't even dare to stand up to take this photo out my second story window, I just held the camera out it, and took the photo.
There's always at least two of them waiting at the door. Waiting for me to come out. A friend brings my groceries now- the Sand Puppies don't bother them, they only want me.
They may get me. They plan to, I can feel it. If they do, I want you all to carry on. You MUST warn our people. You MUST protect them.
No matter what, the Sand Puppies must not win.
Give up, and we are all doomed.
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[21 Feb 2004|04:36pm] |
As they mature, sand puppies become even more dangerous. Growing in size and boldness, there is nothing to stop them from walking out of their gloomy dens and into the open, where they will fearlessly bring down anything they can find. Above, you can see a mature Sand Puppy lying in wait for a beachgoer.
As demonstrated by this image, mature Sand Puppies may hunt in packs. This reduces the prey's chance of escape. Above, a Sand Puppy chasing a woman begins to tire, but two others have moved ahead to cut her off.
It is almost impossible to avoid Sand Puppies. Above is a map of what some experts believe the network of Sand Puppy tunnels below London may look like. Their exact extent is unknown, as no one has ever emerged from them alive.
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[18 Feb 2004|07:37pm] |
Top scientists in the US report that Sand Puppies are on the move. Originally, their range consisted of the coastal areas in California, but thanks to the increase in sandboxes and artificial lakes throughout the US, Sand Puppies are moving steadily eastward.
The child pictured here is little Zoe Grahamn, in a photo taken only moments before a rogue Sand Puppy emerged from the ground, snatching the child in front of her parent's very eyes.
"This is highly unusual," said one expert. "However, we're seeing cases of these usually seclusive animals actually entering human-populated areas. In these cases, instead of digging their traditional burrows, they'll emerge right from the ground under their victim, and drag them under. We've never seen anything like it."
Above: A Sand Puppy with the remains of a human victim.
Scientists believe that the increase in the Sand Puppy population, caused by an abundance of prey, has led the animals to move inland. As they do so, some may be breeding with domestic dogs, allowing them to adapt to live both under and above ground with greater ease. (Normal Sand Puppies emerge from the ground only to hunt in times of scarcity, and during the summer breeding season.)
The Sand Puppies are on the move! Be viligant!
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[17 Feb 2004|10:26pm] |
It's become tradition to fling the worms in a frenzy about the hallway and strew them over potted plants as a festive decoration in the President's Day season. Small children should be discouraged from running into the wall while the event occurs.
This creature, known as the Lesser Sand Puppy, has been known to fatally attack and then consume humans who stumble into it's cameoflagued burrows in the sand. Prey animals are unable to climb the steep sides of the burrows, and their struggles create vibarations that resonate into a vast network of underground tunnels. These tunnels were once used as pedestrian or utility tunnels, but are now abandoned by humans. The Sand Puppys take over the tunnels, and dig through their ceilings to create the burrows to trap their prey.
A rare photo of the elusive Spotted Sand Puppy, moving rapidly across the unsteady terrian. Sand Puppies can reach speeds of up to 35 mph, an unfortunate fact for those stumblingly attempting to flee.
A fetal Sand Puppy.
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[16 Feb 2004|11:56pm] |
DO IT. Tell the bigots to shut the fuck up, and bluntly explain to the advocates that this is a pretty fucking stupid idea for a campaign.
<center><table width="50%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="20%" bgcolor="ffffff"><font color="cccccc">OMGWTF</td><td width="20%" bgcolor="ffffff"><font color="cccccc">OMGWTF</td><td width="20%" bgcolor="ffffff"><font color="cccccc">OMGWTF</td><td width="20%" bgcolor="cccccc"><font color="ffffff">OMGWTF</td><td width="20%" bgcolor="cccccc"><font color="ffffff">OMGWTF</td><td width="20%" bgcolor="cccccc"><font color="ffffff">OMGWTF</td>
<tr><td colspan="6" align="center"><a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/foamydog/4429.html">You're all fucking retarded.</a></td></tr></table></center>
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[15 Feb 2004|07:48pm] |
PRO ANA IS STILL RETARDED.
So are people who whine about icon theft.
And goths.
This journal is filled with love.
For example, this crab-spider thing loves you so much it wants to burrow up into the soft fleshy parts of your nasal passages, chew through your skull, and deposit a cluster of eggs into the outer edges of your brain.
I am racist towards pickles.
I hope you have nightmares about this and the crab-spider thing.
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[08 Feb 2004|07:56pm] |
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[03 Feb 2004|04:30pm] |
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) pro_ana pisses me off to no end. You people are fucking sheep. SKINNY, DEFORMED SHEEP. You are a mockery of the disorder I fought and overcame. I would like to state this right now: Anorexia makes you stupid. Why is it that everyone who has it is such a fucking retard?
Go get help, you stupid shits.
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